31 October 2018
Perhaps “no” social life is overly dramatic. Often when we say “no” – what we really mean is “rare”.
It used to be simpler, didn’t it?
When we were at school all it required was lending a pen, offering up a melty square of chocolate from a grubby palm or passing a not so secret note.
That is until we weren’t friends, due to a storm in a teacup.
The Good Old Days
Remember a time when your main priority was your friends? All the spur-of-the-moment adventures and laughing so hard there were tears in your eyes.
You’re not alone there. It’s something most, if not all of us can relate to. Nostalgia is a British virtue.
It was simply about being alive together.
Whilst we don’t miss the hangovers, we do miss a sense of belonging. The camaraderie, inside jokes and care free outlook.
As much as we miss it though, we struggle to find space in our busy lives.
We’re tired, time poor…we’ve moved on…
We even go so far as convincing ourselves we’re not bothered if we see our friends – after all, it’s not critical to our survival. How wrong this is.
The Reality of Life
Job, bills, hangover judgment, food shopping, the dog, the cat, trips to the vets, a mortgage, Go Compare, marriage, children…
Socialising with wild abandon is off the table. So is socialising in general really. The odd drink here and there, a coffee – nothing that creates memories like back in the day…
Friendship Improves Health
The loneliness and depression caused by a chronic lack of social support is thought to be the same as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.
Whereas, genuine psychologically fulfilling friendships boost your immune system, lower blood pressure and improve pre-existing health conditions. All the good stuff.
Certainly, one of the more enjoyable ways to be healthier.
Thinking of friendship in this way could be a motivator to get involved; to pick up the phone, to arrange something – to make it regular.
Myths About Friendship
“I don’t have enough friends” – Myth no.1
This is a common complaint people have. Especially in a social media world, where superficial “friends” are collected like trophies.
Have you ever met a social butterfly, who seems to have endless friends? Always meeting up with someone different. If meaningful friendship takes time, then you (clearly) can’t develop it spreading yourself so thinly.
It sounds wishy washy and cliché – but having one close friend it worth far, far more than any number of loose associates.
“Making and keeping friends should be easy” – Myth no.2
We learn how to make and keep friends in an environment that disappears as we age. For many years there’s nothing to compete against our friendships and then suddenly, there’s everything.
“I don’t have a best friend” – Myth no.3
You honestly don’t need one. What is a “best friend” anyway? If there’s the need to label a friendship, perhaps it’s out of fear. Fear that it may not be as strong as we want it to be.
The aspect of a friendship that matters is whether it’s mutual. You shouldn’t have to slap stickers on it.
Friendship Isn’t Easy
We all have bouts of being socially rusty – It’s a natural effect of socialising less.
The main thing friendships need is openness. They’re never founded on small talk, or stock questions. They’re about connecting on a deeper level, through shared values and philosophies.
By being open with others, you put yourself at the risk of being hurt. This is exactly how others know to trust you.
When it comes to sparking new friendships – being likeable might be as simple as having ears and listening to what others have to say. Then asking for more.
The most crucial thing however – is time. But let’s face it, this isn’t news to anyone. Especially with old friendships, it’s amazing how they endure and can re-ignite with an injection of time.
Of All the Things You’ll Regret
When looking back on your life, one thing you’ll not regret is making time for your friends.
Most of us know full well it’s important to have healthy friendships in life. And we’re itching for the opportunity to put some work in (or we should be).
Okay, less talk – more action.
Reconnect with a Themed Break at Searles
Right into the new year (and beyond) we have exciting breaks happening at Searles Leisure Resort in Hunstanton.
Maybe you fancy hearing some ole time banjer pickin’ at our Country Music Weekender, grooving at our Sunny Hunny Soul Weekender or testing your aim with our I Am Legend Darts Weekender. We even host a fantasy role playing break. Why not come along and enjoy our Turkey & Tinsel break or join in the celebrations with our New Year Break.
And for the family, what could be better than a weekend of bonfires and fireworks?
At Searles it’s all about variety – ever the spice of life.
Booking a Searles break takes the hard work out of thinking of things to do with your friends, family or as a couple. It’s a good time, on a plate.
Don’t delay though – because our special breaks sell out. Create some proper memories, like back in day.